Wah Cow!!

Finally!!! A new post in my blog. I've been waiting so long to fork out some time to update my blog, due to the unlimited projects my school offers me which makes me feel that the school fees are more than worth it.

Anyway, today's blog will be a little different. I will expose my creative flair in storytelling to you guys. I'm gonna blog about a story which i came out with in one of my modules called concept pitch.

Enjoy!!

The story of a black cow

The story starts with a scene of the universe. The camera zooms in slowly on earth and you could see that Mars is yellow(yes, Mars is yellow, i'm the creator of the story and i call the shots, hah). Then, the Narrator speaks in an Elvis-tone voice: "If pigs can fly, what about cows?"

With great speed, the camera zooms into earth, whooshing past small meteorites and honey stars, until we reach the grassfields in New Zealand. There are many hills and mountains surrounding the grassfield where a million cows can be seen grazing it.

The camera pans to the right to show a cow walking up one of the hills in the foreground, away from the rest of the herd. The cow is black in colour with white patches instead. He takes a look back at the herd with disdain, and continues walking forward. After a few steps, cow stops at the top of the hill. His attention gets caught up by the majestic glow of the moon which outshines all the stars around it. [(you can see mars beside the moon (yes, you can see Mars with your naked eye in this story and it is still yellow)] Visions and destiny can be seen stirring up in his soul, through cow's eyes.

Suddenly, what seem like sparkles whizz past cow. Without hesitation cow turns its head to take a look. To his amazement, he sees 3 little fairy pigs flying to their little mushroom-camouflaged houses. The 3 little pigs have wings and each of them wore a skirt of a different colour; red, green & blue (like the powerpuffgirls). They happily enter their place of dwelling which happens to be mushroom-capped houses each made of different materials; straw, sticks & bricks.

Out of curiosity (a natural basic instinct of cows), cow motions himself closer to the mushroom houses. Another surge of curiosity stirs in him again (cows are really curious animals man). He ponders for awhile, then blows at the mushroom houses. His gentle breath becomes whirls of typhoons in the point of view of the little pigs with their little houses. The foundation of their houses instantaneously gave way without showing any hint struggle. What seems like a 20 feet vicious black giant is standing in front of the powerpuff pigs now.

Fear overcomes them as they cover their heads with their hands and go down on all fours with their wings sticking out. Suddenly, a growl can be heard... from cow's stomach. The pig's wings illusionizes into beautiful delicious grass blades in the eyes of cow. Without any thoughts of compassion, cow bites its' wings and swings the pigs away, causing their wings to snap. He continues to chew the wings while the pigs lay unconscious beside him.

Out of the sudden, cow's body begins to float. He takes a look at himself and sees sparkles surrounding his body, causing it to glow.Now it dawns in him that he has the power to fly like the powerpuff pigs. He looks up into the sky again, with passion burning in his eyes, like a small boy chancing upon a giant chocolate cookie ice-cream bubble-gum sweet (thats what i would like when i'm young). Cow bends down to gather strength in his legs, and takes a gigantic jump towards the moon. (background music: A symphonice band plays a piece that stirs up hope, faith and destiny) Whoosh, he disappears out of sight into space.

The introduction of Star Wars starts playing, with the classic Star wars sound track and the text “A long time ago in a galaxy far far away” starts rolling. “Whee!” cow flies past the words. Cow continues flying in space with glee shown all over his face. Meanwhile, more honey stars, cow carcasses in flying pose and Doraemon opening a wrong door into outer space can be seen in the background. Cow looks to his left and realizes that he has flew past the moon. A great sense of satisfaction fills his being, as if he had reached his destiny.

Then, he realized that his left hand is beginning to catch fire. Cow looks up, and to his horror, he is about to crash into Mars! He panics and tries hard to steer himself away but he could not. As he accelerates closer to Mars, cow panics more, with tears in his eyes now, he struggles hard to brake but to no avail. He is now just a few feet away from Mars, traveling at an amazing speed covered in a fireball. Now he looks like as if he saw a giant Godzilla-eating Lizard. [as in a giant lizard eating Godzilla (yes, cows are afraid of lizards in this story just as how elephants are afraid of mice)]

The camera zooms out to a bird eye view as cow slams into Mars with a loud “piak”. His blood sprays all over Mars causing Mars to turn red. An astrologer pulls away his telescope an exclaims, “WAH COW!”

A boy who coincidentally looks like me(the author) on the street points to the sky and exclaims, “WAH COW!” The people on the streets and in their houses notice that Mars is red in colour too and exclaim together in one voice, “WAH COW!”

Upon noticing the red-coloured Mars, a British man spits out his tea and exclaims in a very strong accent, “Gee, I must say, WAH COW!”

A french artist was painting the Eiffel Tower with Mars beside it (the Mars painted on his canvas is yellow in colour). When he realized that Mars has now became red, he tore his painting in anguish while exclaiming in french, :"OH MON DIEU, LA PLANETE MARS SE TRANSFORME DE ROUGE EN JAUNE" while the subtitle appears: “WAH COW!”.

Bruce Lee swings his nun chucks around practicing while screaming “WA TAH! WA TAH!” He looks up to see that Mars has became red and exclaimes, “WAH COW!”

A Martian on Mars stands on Mars in shock. It looks at the (red) ground and paused for 3 seconds. Then it utters in an robotic-alienic voice, “WAH COW!”

The camera goes back to the scene of space (Mars is now red), while the narrator says “Cow had a dream, and the birth of his dream was the birth of a story that touched millions of lives. His story can now be found in a history book name “Fairytales”.... plus he caused Mars to turn red and pigs unable to fly AND... the cow never came home.”


Credits Roll. (Audience cheer and applause like mad) (a archapella groups starts singing "Wah Cow" over a beethoven tune)


The three little pigs wakes up to see the big bad wolf preparing to eat them. The pigs squeak to each other, with the subtitles appearing : “Stupid cow, eat our wings”



THE END
© 2007 Rickson Tan



So you've guessed it, it was because of cow that
1) Mars became red
2) Mars is now not visible to the naked eye from earth(coz when cow hit mars, it moved further away from earth)
3) We have the fairytale we now know as "The cow jumped over the moon"
4) Pigs were unable to fly
5) A cartoonist got inspired and decided to create the powerpuff girls
6) The phrases "if pigs can fly", "the cows never came home" and the all time favorite one that Singaporeans use, "WAH COW!" were created.



So thats all for today.
By the way, if you (or you know anyone) who is finding a good scriptwriter (both in comedy and other genres), please consider me, haha..
Wooooo~ my blog has advertisements too.




This post has some value in view of eternity. Because it stirs up laughter, which is good to the soul, and lessen stress so that people can continue doing their work with a smile.

It has great value in view of time too, because it can be used to make an short animation or even produce a movie from that story, which i strongly feel will be a great one, haha..



So thats all for today, Have A Nice Day!!