Nice guys finish last..

If you are wondering "whats with your title Rick? Nice guys finish last?", it means that i managed to attract you into reading this post.
But, if you are not thining like that, then erm... maybe you're just sleepy lar.

Anyway, what does my title means? Its about platonic rleationships.

In case you do not know the meaning, Platonic relationship means relationships free from sensual desire, esp. in a relationship between two persons of the opposite sex. Many dictionaries do not have a clear explanation on it, so i shall rephrase it according to how Singaporeans see it in a simplier version.

Platonic relationship means best friends of the opposite sex who are not in love.
(wooo, Rickson's blog is so educational, haha)

I blog about this because I read an article about it 2 days ago in LIFE! newspaper. It was interesting and the writer managed to convince me that his opinions are facts. BUT, his 'facts' have certain loopholes and are not a 100% accurate.
Although this might seem as a worldy topic to many, it is really an important one.
So now, let me give you an interesting revised version on platonic relationships.



Oh wait... I can't find that newspaper article!!
I guess it was used to clean my dog's poo or the family of lizards we rented part of our house to ate it. Sometimes my homework disappears in the same way to. I wanted to tell my teachers the truth about not bringing my homework, that my dog pooped or pee-ed on my homework or the lizards ate it, but eventually i just told them i was stupid and lost it.. something like that..
Anyway, i shall just talk about what i can remember.


Platonic Relationships.. can they exist?
Those who think that platonic relationships can exist please raise your hand.

oOoh.. I see all the females raising their hands but only 50% of the males raising his hand.

Those who think that platonic relationships cannot exist please raise your hand.

oOoh, only 25% of the remaining raised up their hands. What happened to the rest?


Women strongly believe that platonic relationships can exist, many of them have had a close guy friend before. But what about men?? and boys??
Many men believe platonic relationships can exist too, while many of the boys (under 13) do not really know what is the defination of platonic relationships. I guess many of them haven't learn that word at their age yet.
BUT, the problem is that most platonic relationships don't work out for men.
Let me speak in a man's point of view now.
This post is to help women recieve new revelations, while helping men to vent their emotions out.

Here comes the shocking fact of the post....

Almost all men have had a crush on their best friend (man or woman) before!!

Shocking right? For the moment, i won't touch on the topic about men having crushes on their male best friend. Its a little too sensitive to people. A word of advice to all men out there: Becareful. haha..

Anyway, its true!!

But the main problem is that, the men who have crushes on their best friends do not want to tell them. They would rather have a a groups of lizards to bite their armpits then admit that they have a crush on their best friend. Yes i know, many of you women who are reading this now will be thinking who will ever want that kind of torture. Of course i'm excluding the fact that some women do have an obsession with lizards. Anyway, i shall move on. Yes, its really true!


I shall be brave and share with you some of my experiences.

I use to have this close female friend by the name of John (fake name, a female by the way, not a male, because i don't want to leak out who the person is). Anyway, i was John's best friend (still the same female person, not another male john). I had a crush on her before she had a boyfriend.

But months later, she chose to be with another guy. I was sad, boo-hoo, listened to sad songs everyday ( i was still very young then, it was like 6 years ago). The saddest thing was that, our relationship bear a huge ressemblance to a chinese love drama that was airing at that time called MYP qing2 ren3. Almost 50% of the story was the same as our relationship, it was very sad. But after awhile, i continued my friendship with her, because i did not want to appear as the sore-loser who gave up after losing etc, etc.

Our relationship then slowly became a platonic one; on the surface that is. She sees me as a best friend, confides in me her problems, struggles, and worst of all, her problems with that guy. It gave me lots of hope everytime they had a quarrel, but the worst part was her telling me "I wish he is like you, even abit can already, then i'll be much happier".
And the worster (new word) part is that, when i switch on the television, the main actress confides in her best friend about her boyfriend and says "i wish he is like you".
AND, the Worstest (newer word) part is that the main actress did not end up with her best friend at the end of the drama.. AAAAAHHHHHH!!!

So women, now you know what goes through the mind of a "best friend".

There were many many other instances (maybe 2 more), whereby i had crushes on my best friend (still females).

This is what i mean by "nice guys finish last". Because most of the time, those boyfriends torture our "best friends" emotionally, yet our "best friends" chose to stay with them.


Of course i should not stereotype platonic relationships like this. The good news is, it does not happen like this all the time. I've had many real platonic relationships before that do not involve any crush. So my close female friends out there, don't worry too much, haha. Through experience, i've managed to discipline myself and guard myself from falling into crushes, unless all along i really like this girl or what lar.

Anyway, crushes in platonic relationships happen more often than most women think they do.
In the article that i mentioned to you earlier, the journalist said that it happens all the time and thus platonic relationships does not exist to men.
Thats his point of view, but if i were to estimate, platonic best friends relationships only happen 30% of the time to men. Maybe 70% for women.

So for those people with platonic best friend relationships, keep watch. Maybe your best friend has a crush on you. Or maybe he/she/it doesn't. But if you only want a platonic relationship, then take precautions. Do not mislead them!!
But How?

1) Ensure minimal physical contact.
If it is true in the physical realm, it will be true in the spiritual realm. So if you do not have feelings for a person but still engage in alot of physical contact (tickling, "smacking each other", etc, etc), it will soon be true in the spiritual realm and soon you will lead the person into having feelings for you.

2) Watch what you say.
Avoid mushy stuff such as "Good nitez, sleep titez, Lollipop Dreamz!" even if it is your trademark good night message. "Lollipop dreamz" for good night is enough if you would like to have a trademark good night message. Don't overdo it, because by doing so, the other person will sub-consciously recieve it as "remember to dream of me!!" or something like that.

3) Watch how much time you are spending with him/her/it.
If you are spending more time with your "best friend" then your boyfriend/girlfriend/itfriend, then something might be wrong. Your "best friend" might draw up certain conclusions that will mislead him. For those who are not attached and are spending more time with your "best friend" than your homework, your grades must be pretty lousy. An average hardworking polytechnic/secondary student spends 20 hours on projects and studies. For JC it should be around 25 hours. So if you're spending more time with him/her/it than your homework, something must be wrong. So for those hardworking people, spend less time with your "best friend". For those lazy people, do your homework!!


And guys (some girls too, but mostly men).. Just be brave, confess it out. Even if your "best friend" does not feel the same towards you, you've let it out of your heart. Then from there, it is easier to decide to continue waiting or to give up, rather then holding on not not deciding on what to do.

Anyway, for those guys who lost hope and strongly believe that "Nice guys finish last", i've got good news for you!!

Why would your ex-best friend choose to stay with her current boyfriends who tortures her and forces her to eat lizards than to be with you; a nice and loving guy who would not even torture a lizard?
She must be BLIND!!! (not literally blind i mean, as in blind in seeing truths)
And do you want to have a BLIND girlfriend like that?
Certaintly not right, so rejoice!!!

It does pay off to be nice. The fact that you did not end up with her was a reward, not a punishment. (only applicable to those who have best friends who are tortured by their boyfriend but do not want to leave them)
For those of you guys who held a torch for your best friend who is a good person but do not feel the same for you, look on the bright side too. At least through this experience, you learn, grow stronger and build a better character. AND, a better character means becoming more attractive too, so rejoice too, haha..

So do not grow weary of doing good today.

This post have certain value in view of eternity and definitely lots of value in view of time (you don't wanna waste your time getting yourself into unwanted crushes)