Diploma in Acceptance

Today, I am going to feed you with the foundation basics if you were to take a diploma in acceptance... What do i mean?


There are laws that are not in the physical realm.
Laws such as the law of gravity, the laws of motion, and even the laws of love, etc, etc..
Basically, those are the laws that keep the earth going round.
All these are good.
But, many of us behave as if we are highly skilled in certain laws.
To be precise, the law that is often abused and the one that i am going to talk about, is the law of acceptance.

Why that?
Because so many of us think that we know about acceptnace so much that we can decide who/what should be accepted and who/what should not.


It is as if we know and understand literature so much, that when someone comes up with a new way to express certain things with literature that we feel is not right, we dismiss it as wrong.
But if you were to understand literature, literature is about personal expressions of experiences being artistically penned down into words, and there is no right or wrong.




let me give you an example.

One day John comes up to you in tears, "Bob... Tyrannosaurus died yesterday. He was a really good terapine (small turtle). He was my best friend whom i always trusted, he had never betrayed me before, never hurt my feelings, never cheat on me, and he's always there for me. I really miss him."

So you replied, "Don't be sad. You didn't really lose a best friend. You still have me."

"But he was really my best friend. He always listened to me whenever i had problems."

"How do you know he even listened? He doesn't even have any ears for goodness sake."

"But.. but.. but... He was always there for me."

"Because he was stuck in his tank 24 hours. Listen John, don't be so sad, he isn't your real best friend. You still have other friends out there."

"BUT HE WAS REALLY THERE FOR ME!!!!"

"He's just a terapine, so what if it died? Come on John, don't think so much about it already, its just a terapine."

"HE'S NOT AN IT!!! HE'S MY BEST FRIEND WHO IS ALWAYS THERE FOR ME!! AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION HE DOES NOT LIVE IN A TANK, HE LIVES IN THE TOILET BOWL IN MY ROOM!! AND YESTERDAY HE JUST DIED AND DISAPPEARED INTO THIN AIR!!"

" He was in your toilet bowl? No wonder i saw something moving. Phew! Heng man, i thought my stomach had worms or something like that."




For those who didn't get it, Bob flushed Tyrannosaurus down the toilet bowl lar.
Anyway, many of us behave like this.
Wait, let me rephrase it.
All of had behaved in the same manner at least once before.
What manner am i referring to?
Bob rejected John saying that his terapine was his best friend. And he even tried convincing John that he was just being foolish.
But the fact is, to John, Tyrannasorous was really his best friend!!


So many of us behave like Bob.
When we think we know certain things, we reject anything that is contradictory to it and neglect the feelings behind it.
Even worse, we continue making people feel bad by convincing them that they were foolish.


I don't mean only in such situations.
How many times have we not accepted people who are different? or should i use the word that we oftenly use to describe them : wierd.

People who not just have physical but mental disabilities too.
People who have problems with their eyesight,
people with speaking disabilities,
people who have problems with their legs,
people who look wierd,
people who are extremely obese,
people with huge birth marks,
people who have a paralyze body or facial part,
people with a funny hairdo,
people who are hyperactive,
people who can't control talking alot,
people are slow in understanding,
people who are super duper quiet,
people who behave differently at times,
people who do not talk in a very tactful manner not on purpose,
people who are not trained to have manners from young,
people who don't look very decent,
people who look too decent (a.k.a nerdy),
people who have a wierd sense of dressing,
people who have "lower class" occupations,
girls who behave too rough,
guys who behave too gentle (a.k.a aqua),
people who are bisexual or homosexual, etc, etc...
The list continues running.

I mean who have not rejected at least one person in his/her life?
or should i say, who had treated everyone he/she know with great acceptance?
And when i say acceptance, i mean "the act of accepting with approval; favorable reception".
not many right.




But, Why do we need to show acceptance?

Because all of us are of the same level, none of us are of a higher breed, even if we think so.
All of us are humans.
So what if John was being foolish to think that his terapine is his best friend?
So what if he sees things in a different point of view?
John is still a human like us who have feelings and Bob (as a good friend) should accept the part of John that loves his Tyrannasorous.


Imagine you were the one who was born with a paralyzed limb or facial feature instead.
How many people will make fun of you in primary school?
How many bullies will beat you up in secondary school?
How many companies will turn you down in interviews just because you look different?
How many people will treat you as their best friend?
How many guys/girls will approach you and talk to you because you look good?

Imagine you were the one who was sexually abused when young and thus when you grow up you lost trust for the opposite sex and only are attracted to the same sex..
After so much abuse, you grow up thinking it'll be better but now you continue getting rejected by society.

Imagine you were the one born with a very low metabolism rate and could not shed weight no matter how little you eat. You have this physical problem, and instead of encouraging you, people around you laugh at you for being fat.


Its not just these extreme cases that deserve attention.
Even the minor ones such as behavioral problems and stuff.
Some people just do not know how to behave "normal" even though they want to.
Instead of helping them, we condemn them and judge them.


I admit that i am guilty too.
But i realized that those people are suffering enough already, and they deserved to be loved as much as i deserve to be.
In fact, even more!!
Why do I, a person with not much problems or difficulties recieve more love than people who have so much problems and difficulties just because i am well recieved by society?
It is not fair ot them.
How many times have they cried out thinking how unfair life is to them.

It is not life that is so unfair, it is people who create and add in to the unfairness of life!!

Whether you are part of the cure or part of the disease (like in the coldplay song), it is our choice. Those who choose to be the cure continue reading. Those who still don't feel a need to be part of the cure, please keep reading what i've written above until you feel a need to be part of the cure.

Or you could try asking your friends and family to help you by not being accepting to you for one week. By the end of the week, you'll understand how it feels.
So let me give you two enlightening points on how to accept people easier.
How to "force" your unsympathetic hearts (many of us have pity on people at times, but we don't know why we just can't show it) to become accepting.



1. Do Not Judge!!! measure...

Judging is one of the killers of relationships, be it with friends, strangers or close ones.
Measure instead.
What do I mean? For example, maybe you have to take the waist line of an obese person. So you measure her waist and tells him that her waist line is 45 inches. That is called measuring and is okay. But, when you tell her "you are fat", that is judging!

Judging doesn't care about how people feel, judging is just making a general statement, and that is what hurts people. Things like "you are always like that", "you are like this everytime", "you are never so good", etc, etc.. Avoid speaking in general because speaking in general is a part of stereotyping and judging.
When people ask you how his hairstyle look, (no matter how terrible it is) don't tell the person that your hair sucks or something like that. Give an honest answer but do not neglect his feelings. You could say "hmmm.. I feel that it'll look much better if its neater, or you could cut your hair shorter because i don't think long hair suits you", or something like that. I'm sure none of you want to hear people saying that your hair sucks. So avoid speaking in general!


2. See people as "perfect enough"

"I am imperfect yet people accept me. Thus I am going to accept him even though he's less perfect."

That is the mentality to have if you want to become a very accepting and loving person. None of us are perfect, though there are some people whe are way less "perfect" than us. Remember what i talked about in "Dream Girl... Dream Guy part 2"? We fall in love because we start seeing a certain person (be it opposite or same gender) as perfect, neglecting their flaws. This is how we can love others too!! As in in terms of friends.

Though many people have much more flaws and are many times irritating or scary to be with. But we just have to remember that we are on the same level as them, we are all humans. Thus if you want to love someone, see the person as "perfect enough" for you to love him. No one is too imperfect to recieve your love.






This post have great value in view of time and in view of eternity.
Because with more accepting people in this world that we live in today, it will be a much better place. The people who get rejected by society will be able to see and feel hope, and love.

The suicidal rate in this world is ever increasing, 1 out of 3 deaths in China is because of suicide. And i believe that the main reason is because they do not have hope, because they were not accepted.

Thus, i ask that those of you who read this be more accepting today. Start small conversations with the "wierd" people that you know whom not many people talk to. You'll never know how much impact these small things that you do with acceptance have.