Why are you Homophobic?

Homophobia is an irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals.
In other words, its the fear of or contempt for homosexuals.

A passage i found online:

"Society holds out the hope for change to just about everybody else.
If there is something unsatisfying in your life, you don’t have to be stuck there.
The issue could be anything ranging from losing weight, finding a job, education, poverty, cigarettes, alcohol or drugs.
Whatever the issue is - society says that change is possible.

Except for one group of people - those affected by homosexuality.
To this group many say that change is not possible.
How unkind, hurtful and intolerant, it is for others to say that while change is possible for everyone else, it is not possible for homosexuals - for this one special group of people there is no hope for change."

Is that true?

There are many people in the world with homophobia.

And being a more traditional country, there are more people in Singapore with homophobia than many parts of the world.

But why?

Why do people despise or even detest homosexuals?

Male-to-male relationships often incite a stronger reaction in a homophobic person than female-to-female. Many females are alright with having homosexual friends, because lesbians and gays are not much a threat to them.
But the men. Whenever they see a gay man, they react with disgust.

I was once hugged by a homosexual in my army camp.
At that point of time i didn't know he was a homosexual.
He had not seen me for a week and hugged me and told me that he missed me.
I felt it was okay thought he was a little weird.
But few weeks later, the discovery of his homosexuality sent shudders down my spine.
I questioned myself of my response.

Are homosexuals supposed to be rejected & outcast, or to be accepted?

Let me show you a few wrong mindsets most men with homophobia have.
And i hope that you who are guilty (like i am) would decide to look at them with a new perspective.

MYTH #1: Homosexuals will be interested in me!

Whenever i see homosexuals, i will take a step back.
I'm afraid that they would end up liking and approaching me.
The look in their eyes.
That girly smile they wear.
Its all too scary!!

FACT #1: His homosexuality doesn't mean him being interested in you

Homosexuals have the same interest in people of the same gender as you have to an opposite gender.
Just because I am interested in the opposite gender doesn't mean that i will be interested in EVERY girl that walks past.
Similarly, just because homosexuals have an interest in people of the same gender, it doesn't mean that they'll end up liking every person of the same gender who walks past, especially not you!

Okay, lets get honest here.
As a guy, why would you be interested in a particular girl?
Maybe its because her looks caught your attention resulting in a very good impression.
But if you found out that her character was terrible, would you still be attracted to her?
If you go forward to introduce yourself to her but she scoffs at you and walks away, would you still be interested?
If she sees you and runs away, would you still be interested?

What I am trying to say is that, you who believe that homosexuals will eventually be interested in you, are the perfect person that a homosexual would not be interested in.
Because your behaviour towards them would really turn them off.
The point I'm trying to get across is to stop thinking that they would be interested in you.

MYTH#2: Homosexuals are freaky people

Homosexuals are really weird people.
They look so scheming, so sneaky, as if they're about to do something sick.
I can't stand the sight of them!

FACT#2: Homosexuals are freaky. As freaky as you are that is

I am referring to the men here.
Many guys are afraid of gays because they feel that their actions are just too freaky!
They would always imagine homosexuals planning to do something sick & disgusting.
The fact is, there really are Freaky Homosexuals out there.
They do weird stuff that scares the socks off many.

But just because a few Homosexuals are weird, it doesn't mean that all of them are weird.
In fact, if you would to compare, those who are weird are just the minority.

If you think about it, there are more weird & freaky non-homosexuals than there are homosexuals.
Think about it, there are so many non-homosexual freaky guys out there!
If you are a female or have a female friend with encounters of such people, you'll understand.

Many guys when in love with another girl, or just admiring her, would go dig out as much detail about the person as possible. He would go to friendster and see all her photos, starring at them for hours. He would read her profile and then check out all her 5000 testimonials one at a time. He would go to facebook and click on every link that he can find, just to find out more about her. He would read every post in her blog, even those 5 years ago!

Isn't that just freaky?!

To some of you it is, to some its not. To some of you this is perfectly normal.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Freakiness is in the eye of the beholder too.

The common factor here, is the beholder.
It isn't how beautiful or how freaky a person is, its how you see it as.

The truth is, looking from a certain perspective, you are equally as weird!!

MYTH#3: Homosexuals are just different and unacceptable

According to my moral beliefs, homosexuality is wrong and thus it is unacceptable.
How would the children in future grow up to be, seeing homosexuals around acting as if its normal.
Its not normal and behaving like a homosexual is not acceptable

FACT#3: Homosexuals are truly different, just like how every person is different

Everyone is different.
Everyone has different problems and different struggles.
And you say that it is unacceptable, how un-accepting should we be towards homosexuals?

Should we condemn them like the Nazi's did?

Where men convicted of homosexuality could be incarcerated in concentration camps.
Where castration was given as an option to homosexuals in exchange for lower sentences.

"Homophobia is like racism and anti-semitism and other forms of bigotry in that it seeks to dehumanize a large group of people, to deny their humanity, their dignity and personhood."
- Coretta Scott King 1998

FACT#4: Homosexuals are just like you; human

Homophobia is the fear of homosexuals.
Lets dissect the word to understand its true meaning.

The Greek word 'homo', where we get the word homosexual from, means 'the same'.
So, literally, 'homophobia' means a fear of things that are the same.

Isn't that ironic?
Isn't that so dumb?

To be afraid of something that is the same as you.

Yes, being homosexuals they are different.
They have different desires, different preferences, et cetera.

But aren't these people human too?
Are they not as human to you?
Aren't they, 'the same'?
Why would you then condemn something that is similar to you?

Anyone can love someone who is lovable.
Even animals, they can love what they love.
But only a heart of a human, one that has to ability to feel compassion, can love someone who is unlovable.
Someone whom the society rejects and deems as 'unlovable'.

I am not asking you to accept the person's behaviour, I'm asking you to accept his humanity, to accept him as a human.

Everyone deserves to be loved.
But the outcast of society deserves to be loved more.
Because they've been through so much more.
Because they've experienced so much lesser love.

Many people have different views on homosexuality.
But lets not debate here whether homosexuality is right or not.
Lets not talk about helping homosexuals change.

Homosexuality is too vast a topic for me to address completely.
Their thinking, their beliefs, their hidden pain, their struggle, et cetera.
Society complicates life for homosexuals.

There are so many things that i don't know.
But what i know, is how much they crave for love & acceptance.
Yes they have homosexual friends who can totally understand them and accept them, but what they want is acceptance from their families, from the society.
And the rest of the non-homosexuals, is the society that they are longing acceptance from.
It is you.

But we can't do much can we?
Unless we are experts in the study of homosexuality, we can't do much to help them.
Except, to accept them.
Because acceptance, in itself is already, much.


So to make it practical, Guys, next time when you see a homosexual, please don't shun him away.
Please don't scoff at him or laugh at him.
Just be nice like how you would to a normal friend.
But of course practise wisdom and not mislead him to think otherwise.

For the girls, next time you see a guy acting like a jerk with homophobia, don't hesitate to bring him back to reality with a simple but effective slap.


One thing that i know can stand time & even eternity, is love. And acceptance is a means of showing love. You could make a difference even in eternity, with just a simple act of acceptance.