Saturday 27 January 2007

Wah Cow!!

Finally!!! A new post in my blog. I've been waiting so long to fork out some time to update my blog, due to the unlimited projects my school offers me which makes me feel that the school fees are more than worth it.

Anyway, today's blog will be a little different. I will expose my creative flair in storytelling to you guys. I'm gonna blog about a story which i came out with in one of my modules called concept pitch.

Enjoy!!

The story of a black cow

The story starts with a scene of the universe. The camera zooms in slowly on earth and you could see that Mars is yellow(yes, Mars is yellow, i'm the creator of the story and i call the shots, hah). Then, the Narrator speaks in an Elvis-tone voice: "If pigs can fly, what about cows?"

With great speed, the camera zooms into earth, whooshing past small meteorites and honey stars, until we reach the grassfields in New Zealand. There are many hills and mountains surrounding the grassfield where a million cows can be seen grazing it.

The camera pans to the right to show a cow walking up one of the hills in the foreground, away from the rest of the herd. The cow is black in colour with white patches instead. He takes a look back at the herd with disdain, and continues walking forward. After a few steps, cow stops at the top of the hill. His attention gets caught up by the majestic glow of the moon which outshines all the stars around it. [(you can see mars beside the moon (yes, you can see Mars with your naked eye in this story and it is still yellow)] Visions and destiny can be seen stirring up in his soul, through cow's eyes.

Suddenly, what seem like sparkles whizz past cow. Without hesitation cow turns its head to take a look. To his amazement, he sees 3 little fairy pigs flying to their little mushroom-camouflaged houses. The 3 little pigs have wings and each of them wore a skirt of a different colour; red, green & blue (like the powerpuffgirls). They happily enter their place of dwelling which happens to be mushroom-capped houses each made of different materials; straw, sticks & bricks.

Out of curiosity (a natural basic instinct of cows), cow motions himself closer to the mushroom houses. Another surge of curiosity stirs in him again (cows are really curious animals man). He ponders for awhile, then blows at the mushroom houses. His gentle breath becomes whirls of typhoons in the point of view of the little pigs with their little houses. The foundation of their houses instantaneously gave way without showing any hint struggle. What seems like a 20 feet vicious black giant is standing in front of the powerpuff pigs now.

Fear overcomes them as they cover their heads with their hands and go down on all fours with their wings sticking out. Suddenly, a growl can be heard... from cow's stomach. The pig's wings illusionizes into beautiful delicious grass blades in the eyes of cow. Without any thoughts of compassion, cow bites its' wings and swings the pigs away, causing their wings to snap. He continues to chew the wings while the pigs lay unconscious beside him.

Out of the sudden, cow's body begins to float. He takes a look at himself and sees sparkles surrounding his body, causing it to glow.Now it dawns in him that he has the power to fly like the powerpuff pigs. He looks up into the sky again, with passion burning in his eyes, like a small boy chancing upon a giant chocolate cookie ice-cream bubble-gum sweet (thats what i would like when i'm young). Cow bends down to gather strength in his legs, and takes a gigantic jump towards the moon. (background music: A symphonice band plays a piece that stirs up hope, faith and destiny) Whoosh, he disappears out of sight into space.

The introduction of Star Wars starts playing, with the classic Star wars sound track and the text “A long time ago in a galaxy far far away” starts rolling. “Whee!” cow flies past the words. Cow continues flying in space with glee shown all over his face. Meanwhile, more honey stars, cow carcasses in flying pose and Doraemon opening a wrong door into outer space can be seen in the background. Cow looks to his left and realizes that he has flew past the moon. A great sense of satisfaction fills his being, as if he had reached his destiny.

Then, he realized that his left hand is beginning to catch fire. Cow looks up, and to his horror, he is about to crash into Mars! He panics and tries hard to steer himself away but he could not. As he accelerates closer to Mars, cow panics more, with tears in his eyes now, he struggles hard to brake but to no avail. He is now just a few feet away from Mars, traveling at an amazing speed covered in a fireball. Now he looks like as if he saw a giant Godzilla-eating Lizard. [as in a giant lizard eating Godzilla (yes, cows are afraid of lizards in this story just as how elephants are afraid of mice)]

The camera zooms out to a bird eye view as cow slams into Mars with a loud “piak”. His blood sprays all over Mars causing Mars to turn red. An astrologer pulls away his telescope an exclaims, “WAH COW!”

A boy who coincidentally looks like me(the author) on the street points to the sky and exclaims, “WAH COW!” The people on the streets and in their houses notice that Mars is red in colour too and exclaim together in one voice, “WAH COW!”

Upon noticing the red-coloured Mars, a British man spits out his tea and exclaims in a very strong accent, “Gee, I must say, WAH COW!”

A french artist was painting the Eiffel Tower with Mars beside it (the Mars painted on his canvas is yellow in colour). When he realized that Mars has now became red, he tore his painting in anguish while exclaiming in french, :"OH MON DIEU, LA PLANETE MARS SE TRANSFORME DE ROUGE EN JAUNE" while the subtitle appears: “WAH COW!”.

Bruce Lee swings his nun chucks around practicing while screaming “WA TAH! WA TAH!” He looks up to see that Mars has became red and exclaimes, “WAH COW!”

A Martian on Mars stands on Mars in shock. It looks at the (red) ground and paused for 3 seconds. Then it utters in an robotic-alienic voice, “WAH COW!

The camera goes back to the scene of space (Mars is now red), while the narrator says “Cow had a dream, and the birth of his dream was the birth of a story that touched millions of lives. His story can now be found in a history book name “Fairytales”.... plus he caused Mars to turn red and pigs unable to fly AND... the cow never came home.”


Credits Roll. (Audience cheer and applause like mad) (a archapella groups starts singing "Wah Cow" over a beethoven tune)


The three little pigs wakes up to see the big bad wolf preparing to eat them. The pigs squeak to each other, with the subtitles appearing : “Stupid cow, eat our wings”



THE END
© 2007 Rickson Tan



So you've guessed it, it was because of cow that
1) Mars became red
2) Mars is now not visible to the naked eye from earth(coz when cow hit mars, it moved further away from earth)
3) We have the fairytale we now know as "The cow jumped over the moon"
4) Pigs were unable to fly
5) A cartoonist got inspired and decided to create the powerpuff girls
6) The phrases "if pigs can fly", "the cows never came home" and the all time favorite one that Singaporeans use, "WAH COW!" were created.



So thats all for today.
By the way, if you (or you know anyone) who is finding a good scriptwriter (both in comedy and other genres), please consider me, haha..
Wooooo~ my blog has advertisements too.




This post has some value in view of eternity. Because it stirs up laughter, which is good to the soul, and lessen stress so that people can continue doing their work with a smile.

It has great value in view of time too, because it can be used to make an short animation or even produce a movie from that story, which i strongly feel will be a great one, haha..



So thats all for today, Have A Nice Day!!

Wednesday 17 January 2007

Nice guys finish last..

If you are wondering "whats with your title Rick? Nice guys finish last?", it means that i managed to attract you into reading this post.
But, if you are not thining like that, then erm... maybe you're just sleepy lar.

Anyway, what does my title means? Its about platonic rleationships.

In case you do not know the meaning, Platonic relationship means relationships free from sensual desire, esp. in a relationship between two persons of the opposite sex. Many dictionaries do not have a clear explanation on it, so i shall rephrase it according to how Singaporeans see it in a simplier version.

Platonic relationship means best friends of the opposite sex who are not in love.
(wooo, Rickson's blog is so educational, haha)

I blog about this because I read an article about it 2 days ago in LIFE! newspaper. It was interesting and the writer managed to convince me that his opinions are facts. BUT, his 'facts' have certain loopholes and are not a 100% accurate.
Although this might seem as a worldy topic to many, it is really an important one.
So now, let me give you an interesting revised version on platonic relationships.



Oh wait... I can't find that newspaper article!!
I guess it was used to clean my dog's poo or the family of lizards we rented part of our house to ate it. Sometimes my homework disappears in the same way to. I wanted to tell my teachers the truth about not bringing my homework, that my dog pooped or pee-ed on my homework or the lizards ate it, but eventually i just told them i was stupid and lost it.. something like that..
Anyway, i shall just talk about what i can remember.


Platonic Relationships.. can they exist?
Those who think that platonic relationships can exist please raise your hand.

oOoh.. I see all the females raising their hands but only 50% of the males raising his hand.

Those who think that platonic relationships cannot exist please raise your hand.

oOoh, only 25% of the remaining raised up their hands. What happened to the rest?


Women strongly believe that platonic relationships can exist, many of them have had a close guy friend before. But what about men?? and boys??
Many men believe platonic relationships can exist too, while many of the boys (under 13) do not really know what is the defination of platonic relationships. I guess many of them haven't learn that word at their age yet.
BUT, the problem is that most platonic relationships don't work out for men.
Let me speak in a man's point of view now.
This post is to help women recieve new revelations, while helping men to vent their emotions out.

Here comes the shocking fact of the post....

Almost all men have had a crush on their best friend (man or woman) before!!

Shocking right? For the moment, i won't touch on the topic about men having crushes on their male best friend. Its a little too sensitive to people. A word of advice to all men out there: Becareful. haha..

Anyway, its true!!

But the main problem is that, the men who have crushes on their best friends do not want to tell them. They would rather have a a groups of lizards to bite their armpits then admit that they have a crush on their best friend. Yes i know, many of you women who are reading this now will be thinking who will ever want that kind of torture. Of course i'm excluding the fact that some women do have an obsession with lizards. Anyway, i shall move on. Yes, its really true!


I shall be brave and share with you some of my experiences.

I use to have this close female friend by the name of John (fake name, a female by the way, not a male, because i don't want to leak out who the person is). Anyway, i was John's best friend (still the same female person, not another male john). I had a crush on her before she had a boyfriend.

But months later, she chose to be with another guy. I was sad, boo-hoo, listened to sad songs everyday ( i was still very young then, it was like 6 years ago). The saddest thing was that, our relationship bear a huge ressemblance to a chinese love drama that was airing at that time called MYP qing2 ren3. Almost 50% of the story was the same as our relationship, it was very sad. But after awhile, i continued my friendship with her, because i did not want to appear as the sore-loser who gave up after losing etc, etc.

Our relationship then slowly became a platonic one; on the surface that is. She sees me as a best friend, confides in me her problems, struggles, and worst of all, her problems with that guy. It gave me lots of hope everytime they had a quarrel, but the worst part was her telling me "I wish he is like you, even abit can already, then i'll be much happier".
And the worster (new word) part is that, when i switch on the television, the main actress confides in her best friend about her boyfriend and says "i wish he is like you".
AND, the Worstest (newer word) part is that the main actress did not end up with her best friend at the end of the drama.. AAAAAHHHHHH!!!

So women, now you know what goes through the mind of a "best friend".

There were many many other instances (maybe 2 more), whereby i had crushes on my best friend (still females).

This is what i mean by "nice guys finish last". Because most of the time, those boyfriends torture our "best friends" emotionally, yet our "best friends" chose to stay with them.


Of course i should not stereotype platonic relationships like this. The good news is, it does not happen like this all the time. I've had many real platonic relationships before that do not involve any crush. So my close female friends out there, don't worry too much, haha. Through experience, i've managed to discipline myself and guard myself from falling into crushes, unless all along i really like this girl or what lar.

Anyway, crushes in platonic relationships happen more often than most women think they do.
In the article that i mentioned to you earlier, the journalist said that it happens all the time and thus platonic relationships does not exist to men.
Thats his point of view, but if i were to estimate, platonic best friends relationships only happen 30% of the time to men. Maybe 70% for women.

So for those people with platonic best friend relationships, keep watch. Maybe your best friend has a crush on you. Or maybe he/she/it doesn't. But if you only want a platonic relationship, then take precautions. Do not mislead them!!
But How?

1) Ensure minimal physical contact.
If it is true in the physical realm, it will be true in the spiritual realm. So if you do not have feelings for a person but still engage in alot of physical contact (tickling, "smacking each other", etc, etc), it will soon be true in the spiritual realm and soon you will lead the person into having feelings for you.

2) Watch what you say.
Avoid mushy stuff such as "Good nitez, sleep titez, Lollipop Dreamz!" even if it is your trademark good night message. "Lollipop dreamz" for good night is enough if you would like to have a trademark good night message. Don't overdo it, because by doing so, the other person will sub-consciously recieve it as "remember to dream of me!!" or something like that.

3) Watch how much time you are spending with him/her/it.
If you are spending more time with your "best friend" then your boyfriend/girlfriend/itfriend, then something might be wrong. Your "best friend" might draw up certain conclusions that will mislead him. For those who are not attached and are spending more time with your "best friend" than your homework, your grades must be pretty lousy. An average hardworking polytechnic/secondary student spends 20 hours on projects and studies. For JC it should be around 25 hours. So if you're spending more time with him/her/it than your homework, something must be wrong. So for those hardworking people, spend less time with your "best friend". For those lazy people, do your homework!!


And guys (some girls too, but mostly men).. Just be brave, confess it out. Even if your "best friend" does not feel the same towards you, you've let it out of your heart. Then from there, it is easier to decide to continue waiting or to give up, rather then holding on not not deciding on what to do.

Anyway, for those guys who lost hope and strongly believe that "Nice guys finish last", i've got good news for you!!

Why would your ex-best friend choose to stay with her current boyfriends who tortures her and forces her to eat lizards than to be with you; a nice and loving guy who would not even torture a lizard?
She must be BLIND!!! (not literally blind i mean, as in blind in seeing truths)
And do you want to have a BLIND girlfriend like that?
Certaintly not right, so rejoice!!!

It does pay off to be nice. The fact that you did not end up with her was a reward, not a punishment. (only applicable to those who have best friends who are tortured by their boyfriend but do not want to leave them)
For those of you guys who held a torch for your best friend who is a good person but do not feel the same for you, look on the bright side too. At least through this experience, you learn, grow stronger and build a better character. AND, a better character means becoming more attractive too, so rejoice too, haha..

So do not grow weary of doing good today.

This post have certain value in view of eternity and definitely lots of value in view of time (you don't wanna waste your time getting yourself into unwanted crushes)

Sunday 7 January 2007

Ah Beng Musician

This will be my 1st post whereby i reveal a little of the lame side of me. Lame as in interesting and funny, not acting humorous. Because in the Singapore, people coin almost anything funny as lame. Anyway, like the title of my post, it'll be about "ah bengs". A friendly one though, i won't condemn ah bengs because i would be condemned myself physically(my looks). Anyway, here goes...


Usually, I would help out in children's church busing.
Which means I get on to a bus that the church hired, direct the bus driver to the children's house, pick them up and drop them off in church. But today, it was more interesting.

My bus driver is a "half-ah beng". He speaks & behaves like one to a certain extent, minus away the harsh common vocabulary commonly used by "ah bengs" because of their limited vocabulary (a.k.a vulgarities). Anyway, i managed to talk to him a little, and he dropped me off near my house after the busing because he lives near me. I found out more of his job because he complained and complained about this girl who yada yada yada yoda soda cola mola(etc, etc, etc...). Anyway, the thing that was worth blogging about is about our conversation on one topic.

It started with him asking "Ni3 shi4 christian ah3 ?" (in english: are you a christian)

It was strange that he asked that, because he was driving a bus full of children who are going to church, and I am the Teacher (yes, the children call me Teacher Rickson in church, how cool, haha) on the bus, so usually the bus drivers will assume that the teacher is a Christian from that church. Anyway, i said yes, and asked him why. He chuckled a little and told me he thought that i was not a christian.

So i asked him bluntly, "because i look like an ah beng?" (in chinese, with my fluent ang-moh accent. I dunno why i have this ang moh accent when i speak chinese, but i have a perfect Singaporean accent when it comes to English or Singlish.) He chuckled again & told me that before i board the bus, when he saw me walking towards the bus, he was thinking "Wah seh, don't tell me its this guy leading the bus today".

He told me he thought i was an ah beng who was trying to act classy, because i was carrying a guitar for i had to play for children church later. So judging by my outward appearance, i was a classy ah beng; an Ah Beng Musician. You know, like those Hong Kong classy gangsters.

To the readers out there, if there really is any, you may wonder why do i blog about this. Especially those who have seen me before. Why, because the majority of people who've seen me before thinks that i look like an ah beng. too!!!

Thats so sad lar, because i'm such a good boy(in Singapore standard). i don't smoke, don't take drugs, don't use vulgarities, don't run around naked, don't commit suicide(its a crime to commit suicide in Singapore, and the fact that i didn't commit a crime like that contributes to me not being an ah beng, haha) nor kick my dog. (i only kick my brother's dog, haha.. i mean very softly, think massage, thats the strength that i use.)

Nor do i torture animals. Other than sleeping on my hamster in the past. It escaped from its cage and could not be found. A week after, we found a roti prata version with dried strawberry sauce of my hamster. It was not my fault, really. Anyway, this shows how lazy my maid was, took one week to find the missing roti prata (i doubt she'll get a chance to read this, haha..). Oh btw, i've tried strawberry prata (strawberry sauce on roti prata), its a little too sweet, but its tasty.

The only thing that i did was to dye my hair purple. And after using sunsilk colour lock shampoo, the hues and saturation of my hair was adjusted(photoshop language). Apparently, the shampoo lived up to its name; colour lock shampoo. When i first washed my hair after i highlited it purple, my hair colour locked on to the foam of the shampoo. PURPLE FOAM!!! It was cool... until i went to visit the guy stalks me everywhere, the guy who i see everytime hiding in a reflective surface (my reflection).

Anyway, what i'm trying to say is judging a book by its cover its not a very smart move. You see, i have friends who are quite handsome but are idiots on the inside. On the other hand, i have a few friends who look like idiots BUT are BIGGER IDIOTS inside!! haha.. Sorrie, that was just a joke, i don't judge people as idiots. Back to the book by its cover thingy, because when you judge someone by its cover, you will behave as if the person is who you think he is. You will avoid people who look like Ah Bengs (i've experienced that before), or mayBe look down on people.

So i shall summarize this post. Next time if you see someone who look like an Ah Beng (whether he is carrying a guitar or not, or whether he has faded coloured hair), they might not be Ah Bengs. So stop judging Ah Bengs today! and stop judging people who look like Ah Bengs too, haha..

This blog does not have any worth in view of eternity. In view of time, mayBe a little. But it fulfills the 2nd agenda of my blog, enjoying life on earth =D.

Saturday 6 January 2007

Technical Difficulties

Btw, i'll design my blog next time, so sorry for the boring layout and deisgn... I'm not really a fan of boring stuff, so you'll see changes soon (i hope).. =D

Animal Planet, National Geographic and Discovery Channel??

Watch Animal Planet, National Geographic and Discovery Channel!!!
Especially discovery channel, they're airing the best of Discovery 2006.
A MUST SEE program airs on thursdays 9pm on Discovery Channel, i forget what is the title of that show. I think its about some guys trying out all the myths, like whether putting a menthos into a diet coke will cause it to explode and many interesting stuff like that. (channel 8 is coming up with a new program like that too, but i prefer to watch the original and more interestingversion)

Why the sudden interest on this channels? Well, i realised that i could really learn alot from these channels, instead of watching tv dramas, soap operas, sitcoms and cartoons (sorry spongebob). Whats more, you get visuals and audio. Reading the papers is good, you should read it everyday, but what you get from reading "the crash of Flight 93" and watching the documentary film about Flight 93 is totally different. It is not just news, but news with emotions and a certain amount of drama attached to it. You get countles interviews of the victim's family, more details etc, etc.. Plus, it is interesting!! Even if you are just an undisciplined lazy extrovert who hates reading the newspaper. You should really try watching it, its good!!

Anyway, why i decided to substitute watching hours of tv dramas, soap operas, sitcoms and cartoons(sorry Patrick and Squidward) is because i want more knowledge. Yes, i can get them alot through newspapers and stuff, but i can also get knowledge in my slacking time now.




I shall list down some interesting things i came across watching those channels. If you already know these things that i am about to mention, good for you. But if you don't, then enjoy these interesting information!!


Do you know that:

There was actually another plane planned by the terrorists to crash into the whitehouse (i'm not very sure if its the right building) in America on September 11? The passengers in the hijacked planed called home from the plane and were informed that the plane was not in a normal plane hijack, but of a terrorist suicide mission. They fought back with the terrorists and when the plane was just 15 minutes away from the target, the terrorists were forced to crash the plane because the passengers almost broked in to the codpit armed. All the passengers of Flight 93 died as heroes.

400 million people died in airplanes and airports? Either through accidents, hijackers or terrorists.

Coca cola can be used to wash toilet bowls? Becareful of what you drink.

Dogs from K9 units saved about a thousand lives in wars and detecting of bombs?

When USA ended the war with vietnam, they abandoned all the dogs from the K9 unit because the dogs were labelled as "military equipment"?

You can marry your dogs at Japan? Some guy formed his new religion and started a mini church to marry dogs. He is the only high priest in the church.

When you decide to cremate your dog, you can call for a mobile funeral service? You have to pay US$200 though. Some clumsy guy with a dog casket will come to your house, put it in the casket, theb cremate it in his mobile funeral service dog cremating vehicle. Then you get to kneel by the dog's coffin and you all habe to bow down to this picture of a "manga version of Mother Mary holding a newborn puppy in her arms" in respect!!!! Thats super.. erm.. unique... and sorta disgusting too man..



So watch Animal Planet, National Geographic and Discovery Channel today. It definitely has worth in view of time and to an extent, even eternity...

Blogging?

This is an introduction to the beginning of my blogging experience. (the pros and cons of blogging)


After months of contemplating, i finally decided to start a blog. And when better to do it than on New year's day? Initially, the first thing that comes into my mind when you mention the word blogging, is "a waste of time". I mean i enjoy reading people's blog to an extent, and i know how much people enjoy blogging. But Rickson blogging??? No way!!! I doubt my friends would believe that i'm blogging too.

Because like the title of my blog, i do things "In View of Eternity". What i mean is, that i do not want to waste time on things that do not have any impact nor last. My initial thoughts were that i could use the time that i were to spend on blogging to do other things that are more productive. Things such as working, praying ( i believe alot in prayer, not just believing in my head but also through numerous experiences), doing projects, spending time with my family or even spending time teaching my dog how to do a backflip.

Anyway, you would've guessed, it turned out to be a happy ending - I am now blogging about why i did not want to blog, haha (wooo, the first haha in my new blog). The reason? Because i realised that by blogging has worth in view of eternity.

1st of all, by blogging, i can train my writing (or should i say typing) skills so that i would be better equipped to write (or type) a book in future.

Secondly, by blogging, i can get in touch with myself and spend time with myself. I can discover more about myself and people can also point it out to me through what i blog on. I can also go back to my archive in future and look at my past posts and realise how foolish i was in the past(of course i hope it'll never happen).

Thirdly, because i could get response from blogging, i can learn how people will respond to certain things and thus learn how to relate better.

Fourthly, when we blog, we will feel that people are listening to what we say. Of course it is not as effective as real friends listening to your problems face to face, but in some sense we feel that we are sharing and releasing our problems to our friends when we blog. So you could say blogging can prevent depression to a certain extent (only to a certain extent).

And last of all, unless my account gets hacked or i forgot my blog address or blogger decide to close down or i could no longer access to internet anymore, the things i post will always be there. Thus, i can always go back to the things i've learned in the past; i can remember what i've learned.

There are many more other reasons to why blogging is good. If after reading this post you don't feel convinced to start a new blog or to start posting better stuff on your blogs, there must be something wrong. Because i myself feel so convinced by myself that i should start posting great stuff that could be of value in view of eternity in my blog. (i really managed to convince myself man =D)
So if you really don't feel convicted, you either

1) did not really understand what i mention above,
2) have a terrible psychological problem (anger or depression)
3) think that i'm an idiot
4) you are reading a blog of the wrong language
5) you have a wife (random)

or mayB you're just too busy (which i feel is the best reason to stop someone from blogging).

Anyway, so if you already have a blog, i hope you'll blog well this 2007. Avoid writing stuff like "Today morning, i walk to my kitchen, sit down, and ate breakfast. Then during lunchtime, i ate lunch at my living room table. And during dinner time, i went to eat dinner in the kitchen again!!! Weeee!! Its all so fun, eating at the right time. Then when i go home, it was already night time, time to sleep, and guess what i did??? i went to sleep!!! Woooohoooo!!!"

i mean such boring stuff does not have any value at all in terms of time (not to mention in terms of eternity). So load up great stuff in your blogs today, fun stuff that can stirr up laughter, informative stuff, emotional problems you have, your persoanl revelations and all your great experiences!!

Enjoy life on earth, but don't waste it.